Better than me

As most of you know, I have done a lot of jobs in my past. Anything you put in front of me, I'll try it.

After my long struggle of becoming an LMT here and finally finding a job, I only work part time at my new spa. So to make up for some lost time, I have been bartending a couple nights a week. I used to bar tend for a corporate restaurant but then have moved to a new place that opened up and the money to be made has been, well, quite phenomenal to say the least.

Let me tell you about new place. It is a wine bar. And a cigar bar. There are leather sofas and chairs for our guests to sit and enjoy their cigars and cocktails and on the weekends we have live jazz and blues. On one end of the bar, there is a walk in humidor with every kind of cigar you can imagine and on the other side, there is a liquor store.

There are two sides to the bar. One is for the public and the other side is for members. You have a thumbprint identifier to let you in to the "Members Only" area. You get many benefits for being a member... 10% off purchases, access to the conference room, a free cigar and bottle of wine a month... and depending on the level of membership, the more benefits you have. But mainly what does your membership get you? Status. "Hey lady, wanna come join me for a cocktail? I am VIP at this club down the street. That's right, I said VIP. I have money."

These members love their liquor and they love to drop their money like no body's business. It is actually quite sickening. I guess that is because I'm from a place that drinks cost a quarter of what they cost in these parts and well, I most of the time got them for free anyway. Bartenders of a feather flock together.

I have been nominated by my colleagues to be the member 'tender. Most members like me. Others don't get my sense of humor. I'm ok with that. I have been known to make almost $200 in tips off of only TWO PEOPLE.

I have now asked to be taken off the member bar for only a couple days. That's all I want. I need a TV timeout. I'm surprised I haven't lost my job yet. If any of you reading know anything about me, you know that I am not one to be talked down to without having something to say back.

Let me set the scene for you...

*about a year ago when I was waiting tables, I waited on some gentlemen that worked for one of the largest car dealerships down here. They tried recruiting me to come to their place and sell cars. I ran into one of the people a few weeks ago while bartending a private party in someones home. I didn't know at that time how he looked familiar and just thought I knew him from the wine bar. Until he came in wearing the dealership's t shirt, did I then put it all together. Read on.

Me: Now I know how you look familiar to me. I served you and some of your colleagues last year at SB.

Him: And we tried to get you to come sell cars with us.

Me: That's right!

Him: If I remember correctly, you had a lot going on then, you were getting married... (he goes on and on)

Me: Yep!

(interrupted by friend of man... aka: I'm With The Guy With The Membership)

IWTGWTM: Wait, let me get this straight... you met her LAST YEAR when she was waiting tables at SB.

Him: Yes.

IWTGWTM: And you tried to get her to come sell cars with you.

Him: Uh-huh.

IWTGWTM: And now here you are, a year later, in another bar, realizing how you met in the first place.

Him: That's right.

IWTGWTM: Well, I can certainly say that I'm glad that in that last year having a job offer fall in her lap like that, she has really moved on to bigger and better things. Way to reach for the stars.

Now, the member that I knew from back when was offended as was I. I looked at him and said:

With the economy being the way it is right now, I am probably making more money bartending than selling cars. And I like to make my money honestly, not by lying through my teeth to sell all the bells and whistles.

You know, some people. Then, my favorite:

Member: Miss? (finger snap) Miss?

Me: You know my name, you can call me by my name.

Member: Oh, well, I prefer to call all who serve me Miss.

Me: Oh? Really? I didn't know we could do that. If that's the case, I prefer to call all who I serve Douchebag. So, what'll it be Douche?

Now, this kid has been up my butt the last few times I have worked. The best part is: I think his parents bought his membership or he saved his allowance. He is younger than me and is the worst of them all. When it's time to close his tab, he always says, "Give yourself 20%". Yessir. I'll be right on that. Thanks for nothing. Douche.

Moral of this post folks, please don't think you are better than anyone else. Treat your servers with respect. They work hard for their money.

Handle With Care

First of all HAPPY HALLOWEEN and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NEW MR. TIA. I had a great weekend. Wanna know what I did? I'll tell ya. My aunt and uncle live 3 hours north of here in beautiful Orlando. They went out of town... actually, they went out of country for a few days, leaving their 8 & 10 year old daughters in my care. The best part was that my parents were also vacationing up there at the same time so I got to hang out with them. We had a great time. My mom went to my cousin's little league game and joined us for lunch and my bonus dad sent treats for the girls while he stayed back to study hard for an exam he had to take. Have I ever told you about some of my baby/house sitting stories? I have a few. Like the time I was 19 and watched a set of 7 year old triplets for 18 days while their parents went to Hawaii. And then I also took on house sitting as a side gig before moving down here. There was about a month a few springs ago when I wasn't home. I went from one house to the next watching animals and houses while the owners went on their vacations. Each time I did these jobs, I had special instructions from each parent. Example: "Every Sunday, I get the dogs cheeseburgers from McDonalds" ... "This dog has to go out before this dog. If Said dog goes out at the same time as the other dog, well, they won't go to the bathroom, they'll just sniff each other's butts" ... "I set out all the clothes for the kids (that's right, 18 outfits... multiplied by 3, well, 54 outfits) with the days I want them to wear them." That last one was really tough. I started to panic when Valentine's day was a snow day and the kids had to wear their Valentine's Day outfits on the 15th. I'm glad to say that this job was easy. My cousins were great for me. No special instructions. Just the basics: Feed them, get them to school on time, minimal tv watching, get them to bed on time and help them with their homework. Easy enough. I too, have learned a thing of two about my jobs for myself. Here's one of them. Be prepared because you never know. I have always had the attitude, "Nobody knows me, I don't care what I look like right now because I am not from here, therefore, I will never see these people again." What do I mean by this? Example: It used to drive New Mr. Tia bananas when I would run to the grocery store in my flaming bright pajama bottoms and ratty t shirt. What do I care? I don't know anyone, right? In my adventure, I had to leave the house at 7:30 am to get the girls to school on time. Dropping them off, you don't get out of the car. Their teachers come to get them. So what do I do? Naturally, I didn't do my hair, threw on my tank top and gauchos and headed out the door. We pulled into the school behind a Cadillac Escalade. When we came to the drop off stop, the girls gave me their hugs good bye and the driver of the Escalade got out to hug his children and send them on their way. Driver then turned smiled and waved at me. Who was this person? Only Johnny Damon. I wanted to get out and ask him for an autograph, but the girls were embarrassed by my ensemble. I also decided against it since his former team had just won the World Series in a 4 game sweep the night before. It has been a great story to tell since I have been back. The next morning I got up to get ready to take the girls and looked presentable in case Johnny and I (because I'm on a first name basis with him) had another encounter. I also had my Sharpie and paper. And camera. Only this time I was also hoping to catch Joey Fatone. Much to my dismay, it didn't happen. Anyone have any other suggestions?

Try and try as I might.

So I have been trying this blog thing and made numerous attempts many times to stay at it. Things happen to me that make me think, "this would be a cool post". Then I sit at the computer and it's almost like my brain quits on me. Now, I figure this: My sister, recently revealing she is expecting numero seis can manage to maintain her blog. My brother, attending law school and his wife, attending to their two beautiful, very active children, can manage to maintain their blog. Why the eff can't I? Things here in Lehigh Acres (LA, as I like to call it) have been crazy. I recently quit my job that I have had for over a year and have taken 2 new positions: LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist) and CM (Certified Mixologist) at an upper scale, less corporate than my current job, watering hole. New Mr. Tia is still working hard in the furniture industry and we are both working hard so we can start saving money to build a newer, bigger house. It is amazing that our 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom home is too small for us. We just have a lot of crap. But it's all important crap, mind you. We also just returned from our honeymoon a few weeks ago. We boarded the Carnival Valor and set sail for Nassau, Bahamas; St. Thomas and St. Maarten. We had a fabulous time and between his blackjacking and my bingo playing abilities, we won $1000. I bet you didn't know there was a method to playing bingo, huh? I know in my last post that I mentioned that I was going to talk about the no Gatorade in my house. Well, that post was a while ago and we still have not had Gatorade in the house. For those that don't know, New Mr. Tia LOVES his Gatorade. I used to buy 3 gallons at a time and that would MAYBE last a week and a half. He has recently developed some body issues and health issues, resulting in him cutting out Gatorade after reading the nutrition label. I'm very proud of him because if he had the option of having an IV of the stuff hooked up, he'd do it. Next step, quitting smoking. I think he's ready. If he's ready and can do it, so can I. We are going to do it together. Then I can spend less time sitting outside by my pool and more time in front of my computer, honing my blogging skills. Time for me to go now, but I just wanted to create a new post in a third attempt to maintain my blog. Thanks for your patience.

Well, I passed!! Have you ever taken a test and come out of it KNOWING you failed? Or, have you ever come out of a test KNOWING that you kicked butt? Yeah... I came out knowing that I did horribly and found out shortly after that I didn't do as bad as I thought. They're sending the official score in the mail. I think I like it better just knowing if I passed or failed. But hey, I passed. So now I just wait to see if the Department of Health will approve my license application and everything will be good. *coming soon... we haven't had gatorade in our home for almost 2 whole weeks!!!

i'm so excited. i'm so excited. i'm so... so... so scared.

So I have to take this test today. And I am scared. It will be THE LONGEST 3 hours of my life, thus far. If it was a practical test, I know I would kick butt. However, I'm not so lucky. It's a computer test and the one good thing is that I find out if i pass right there when I'm done. I'll keep you posted on how I do.

Well, they said you had a big appetite, but BOTH feet in your mouth at ONCE?

Some people. I am trying to get my license to practice my field in the state of Florida. It has been a headache. But I am glad to say that now I have all my requirements done and I am just sitting and waiting. New Mr. Tia and I were talking about me going back to school. I mentioned that I'd like to go back and get trained in another field... you know, add to my repertoire. Well, after going to take a couple classes that were required for my license I realized I wasn't ready to go back to school. Ever go to a trade like school? Where you have class Monday through Friday? 5 to 6 hours a day? With... the... same... people. Every. Day. Some people are great. And then other people you cannot stand and you focus all your energy trying to get away from them. Being in this class I watched alot of the students and related alot of them to my classmates that I graduated with just a year ago this weekend. I had the fortune of sitting next to a nice lady with a warm smile. She was older, had graying hair and a fanny pack. During these classes, frequently we get breaks. Being in these classes can be very monotonous and trying on someone's patience. During break, nice lady and I had a conversation like this: Lady: This is effing ridiculous. I feel like I'm in effing detention. Tomorrow is going to be an effing cluster-eff... (turning to face me and seeing fear on my face...) Sorry, I had a bad night at work last night and I'm just effing frustrated. (She mentioned her bad night at work about 5 times.) Tia: Hey it's cool. You know, everyone has their days. Bad night at work? Are you a trucker? (I understand her feeling like she's in detention. A lot of time is a wasted.) Lady: So why are you here? Tia: I have to take care of a class before I get licensed. I went to school up north and they say I have to do a few more things before I can practice. That's amazing that you said the eff word as many times as you did in that short amount of time. Lady: How many hours have you trained? Tia: By the time all is said and done, I'll have over 1400 hours. (side note: That's alot of hours. the average amount required by a state is about 600) This is where it gets good. Lady: Wow. That's alot. There's a thing over there.... (her voice drifts off as she walks me over to a chart of sorts that had every state listed with the hours they require)... North Carolina... so and so many hours... California... Holy Eff! That's a lot of hours!... ... UTAH... Utah... (turns to look at me) WHO. THE. EFF. WANTS. TO. GO. TO. UTAH. ANYWAY? You think those Effing Mormons really want massages anyway? Who would want to massage those effing Mormons? *This is where I start to get annoyed. I had to think quickly. Do I tell her I'm Mormon just not active? No. That's none of her business. However. She made me uncomfortable this whole time by being in my face, having offensive breath and saying the eff word on a consistent basis. AND she is one of those people that asks you a question but they don't really care to hear the answer because they are so concerned about hearing their own voice to boot. So, there was no place else to sit in the classroom, and now it was my turn to make her a little uncomfortable. Tia: Actually, we LOVE massages. And when I GO to UTAH to visit my brother and sister, I like to rub their shoulders. And when my brother from Utah came to visit me up north, I gave him a massage and also, his wife. The one he married in a Mormon temple. And my mom... my Mormon mom. She loves massage. She was always hounding me for one while I was in school. My sister... in Utah... works at a spa where they offer massage. There's actually Massage Schools IN UTAH. And the guys that wrote the review book for that National Board you have to take to get your license? Yeah. Guess what? Mormon. The whole time I'm talking to lady like this I am right in her face. Making sure she can't cut me off or walk away. Looking her right in the eye. There were a few hours left in the class and she had to sit next to me knowing that she had upset me. Tee hee. Lady: Well, they're ok I guess. That's all she had. They're ok I guess. Good come back lady. Nice fanny pack.

Let me try this again

Hi Everyone! Most of you have probably given up on me because I haven't been up on my blogging. There are a few reasons. a) I got married and that was a busy time. b) I can't think of things to blog about and when I do think of things, I always get nervous that people will be offended. c) When I do think of things to blog about, I can never word the blogs correctly so you may enjoy them. As I have mentioned before, I am ~j's little sister (I'd have a link to her blog here but I don't know how to do that and those of you that are visiting my blog, most likely got here from being on her blog). Anyway, I am ~j's little sister and she has an awesome blog. She is creative and always has great topics to write about and when I read her posts, it's as if I can actually hear her telling a story. Me? Not so much. Sometimes I don't feel as though I am blog material. Believe it or not, I have written a lot more posts, but I always delete them. What is this? Blog fright? Fear? Am I still 7 years old wanting to be like my big sister? Anyway, I will try to be more dillegent about blogging because quite frequently things happen that I would love to share with people. Like this: Last night, I dragged the New Mr. Tia to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy trivets. We thought we would just pick up a few things for the house. Well, sometimes a husband can be like a child. Case in point: I mention I want a spice rack. (Not right now, but maybe for Christmas or perhaps when we buy a new house) He starts laughing hysterically at the display pointing at the jar marked "Dill Weed".

Then we looked for an ice cube bucket for the freezer. We couldn't find one anywhere. That store can be sensory overload sometimes. I looked high and I looked low. And then as I looked, I walked toward my husband. I lightly stroked his arm and said, "Looks like they don't sell them here... Oh, you're not my husband."

And that's my story.

And here's a question for discussion: The color Aqua- is it predominately blue or green? I mean, I know it's blue-green but would you say it's more blue or more green?

are we there yet?

Folks, I'm getting married in 39 days. That's right. 39. All the hard work I've been putting in over the last 9 months is finally all coming together. I'm not nervous. I'm not scared. I don't have anxiety. I'm excited. I can't wait. I. Can't. Wait. I also can't sleep. This is killing me. I have been having the hardest time sleeping. I'll exhaust myself during the day to try to get to sleep at night and I usually crash between 11-11:30. But it doesn't last long. I'm awakened by nightmares of the wedding. I guess I shouldn't say nightmares. More or less they're dreams of possible things that could go wrong. Last night's dream was that I was walking around telling everyone I was getting married tomorrow when inactuality, it was still a week away. So everyone was getting ready for my wedding that I was a week early for. I've had dreams that I didn't get alterations done on my dress on time, so I was wearing a mini skirt and a jean jacket for Sean at the altar. Because, you know, a mini skirt and jean jacket closely resemble a Michaelangelo wedding gown. Then there was the one where nobody showed up because I forgot to send the invitations. These are all things that I have done. Things that won't happen. My gown is being altered right now. The invitations were sent and the reponses are coming in. And I'm well aware of my wedding date. But these dreams won't stop. And the sleeplessness won't either. It doesn't help when I hardly get any sleep, and I do things all day... (because that's the other thing that keeps me up... planning on what planning to get done the next day). I also have a job, people. And I am exhausted by the time I get there. I'm hoping that I am able to get sleep the night before this wedding. I'm also hoping that this will get better after everything is said and done. Although the driving thought that will keep me up then will be... "you need to send out thank yous NOW." Anybody feel me?

needing inspiration

I don't know if any of you suffer from the same thing I do... enlighten me.

I have to clean my house. I have clutter to get rid of. I have mounds of paper to shred. Dirty floors to be swept and mopped and vaccuumed... (dirty in MY eyes. Not so much in S's) Countertops that need to be 409'd... (not because they're sticky or messy, but because I'm slightly OCD about that). Laundry that needs to be washed. You get the jist.

But I don't want to. I don't get the bug to start doing such chores until about an hour before leaving for work and then EVERYDAY on my drive to work I chant in my head, "Tomorrow I will get up, and pick up the clutter. I will sort through the papers I don't need and organize my bills. I will do all the laundry so I'm not waiting til the last minute to have that clean cute outfit."

Instead, I get up, read the paper online, have my coffee, check my email... I procrastinate. I have 2 days off now and want to want to want to so bad get these things done. But it's not fun.

Please don't get me wrong, we are not slobs. I, for one, like my beeg seester, am a recovering pack rat. It's a disease that haunts many. Do I really need my pay stubs from my first job in 1996? Probably not. And what about those pants that just might make a comeback next season? I should just probably get a new pair when they do.

There are so many things I want to get done. But I'd rather, oh, I don't know, check my email numerous times a day just to verify how unpopular I am. Check my myspace for the same reasons.

I'm going to try to get started. Just blogging about it has motivated me a little.


...but I have to check my email first.

Enter-what?

Many moons ago, I had a man friend. He traveled 6 months out of the year for work. It just so happened that his birthday fell into those 6 months. So, I decide I want to go surprise him. I found a cheap ticket, I got his business partners involved on the surprise and I even had a corporate discount for a rental car company. I was set.

After confirming all my arrangements, I called the rental car company to make sure they were going to be there to, as they say in their ads "and we'll pick you up".

tia: "I see that your office closes at 9:00pm. My flight gets in at 8:50. I know that's cutting it close. Will I still be able to get my car?"

operator: "Oh yeah. We'll make a note in your file and we'll get you taken care of."

tia: "Great"

So I arrive. And I go to the rental shuttle service. No pick up. I call the office. No answer. I call the 800 number and get "That office is closed. I don't know what else you want me to do. It reopens at 6am."

So I decide to take a shuttle to another company and get the cheapest car I could find. When I initially was going to spend $50 on a rental for 2 days, I ended up spending 250 and some odd dollars.

I called the rental company the next day and they wouldn't do anything. Long story short- I ended up getting my money refunded to me in the end. After all was said and done, bad taste in the mouth of that company.

One week after moving to Lehigh Acres (I call it LA), I was in a car accident. A 4 car accident. Much damage was done to the ol' Focus o' mine. The accident happened on the same day S and I were to leave for vacation to Ocean City, MD. You see, rain in the south, is like ice in the north. There's no irrigation therefore, the rain ain't got nowhere to go. Hydroplaning is a big problem. I learned that the hard way. That, and Florida driver's are much to be desired.

So my insurance company covers rental cars up to $30 a day. Seeing that I needed one, I find out that my insurance company has a deal with the same company as my aforementioned tale. Great.

Here I am. Just in a car accident in a new place, not sure about myself and my move to begin with and then this happens now leaving me with the doubt of myself as a driver. I didn't even want to get into a car let alone drive one.

I drop my car off at the auto body shop and the man was kind enough to call the company because as they state in their ads "they'll pick you up". They did pick me up. So that made me feel better.

I arrive at the office and meet with SB. That's what we'll call him. He's the manager and he seemed very kind... at first. Our convo:

SB: "Would you like to take out the Collision Damage Waiver for $14.99 a day?"

tia: "I have renter's insurance on my policy so that should cover it. No thank you."

SB: "Well, most people in your situation would think so. However, should something happen... something as little as a grocery cart dinging it in the parking lot of a store , that will be another claim on your insurance within 30 days and your insurance will drop you."

Good scare tactic huh? It worked. I was scared.

I didn't think my car was going to be in repair for 16 days bringing my total for the collision damage blah blah blah to $240+.

Oh yeah, did I mention that S didn't know about it and when he found out he flipped his lid? Yeah... so he calls my claims adjuster and tells him what happened and my claims adjuster said that was a buncha crap.

So here we go, back to the rental office to talk to SB. And he says, there's nothing he can do about it. Everything was said and done. After some banter, he says, he'll refund half of the money "so everyone walks away happy." And then he says, "After all, we're all adults here and can make our own decisions." At that point S thought I was going to leap across the counter and use SB's necktie as a lethal weapon.

The end result after making phone calls and such, I got 100% of the collision blah blah fees back.

So last night, I am working and this guy comes to the bar and he looks ragged. Typical case of the Mondays. His buddies showed up and he starts to loosen up a little bit. As I'm clearing dishes from his place at the bar, I see he had torn the cocktail napkins into little pieces all over the bartop. He says, "Sorry. I made a mess." I said, "It's ok. Tomorrow, I'm going to go to your office tomorrow with all the pieces from my paper shredder and sprinkle them all over the place." He says, "Go right on ahead." Then I asked him where he worked......


.... you'll never believe it. Not only the company but the same office. He said SB might be coming into the bar actually. We discussed SB and the other associates involved in my situation. I shared my other story with him too. Then I told him that I was getting married out of town and have lots of friends and family that will be renting cars, but not from his company.

But then after he apologized, he asked if there was anything he could do for me. I mentioned the chance of redemption was in April when I have to go back to Jamestown for my bridal shower and my sister will be flying in too. A rental car sure would help.

He'll be getting back to me later today with a confirmation number.

I'm back baby

Hey Everyone!

Looks like I'm back! I can post again! I don't know how I did it but I am signed into blogger and we'll see how this goes.

Lots has happened since I last posted. The main thing is that my wedding date is creeping up on me like no other. 78 days and I'll be "Mrs. Hags." Hags is Sean's nickname and therefore, I'll be the Mrs.

I am so tired of hearing "the secret to a good marriage is..." The best part is is that the "advice" is coming from mainly people who are in the midst of a seperation or are divorced. Obviously, you know what the secret is because it was so successful for you, right?

That's all I have for now. I'll be back later to blog when I have a good idea for a post. Suggestions are welcome.