|Folks, I'm getting married in 39 days. That's right. 39. All the hard work I've been putting in over the last 9 months is finally all coming together. I'm not nervous. I'm not scared. I don't have anxiety. I'm excited. I can't wait. I. Can't. Wait.|
I also can't sleep. This is killing me. I have been having the hardest time sleeping. I'll exhaust myself during the day to try to get to sleep at night and I usually crash between 11-11:30. But it doesn't last long. I'm awakened by nightmares of the wedding. I guess I shouldn't say nightmares. More or less they're dreams of possible things that could go wrong. Last night's dream was that I was walking around telling everyone I was getting married tomorrow when inactuality, it was still a week away. So everyone was getting ready for my wedding that I was a week early for.
I've had dreams that I didn't get alterations done on my dress on time, so I was wearing a mini skirt and a jean jacket for Sean at the altar. Because, you know, a mini skirt and jean jacket closely resemble a Michaelangelo wedding gown.
Then there was the one where nobody showed up because I forgot to send the invitations.
These are all things that I have done. Things that won't happen. My gown is being altered right now. The invitations were sent and the reponses are coming in. And I'm well aware of my wedding date. But these dreams won't stop. And the sleeplessness won't either.
It doesn't help when I hardly get any sleep, and I do things all day... (because that's the other thing that keeps me up... planning on what planning to get done the next day). I also have a job, people. And I am exhausted by the time I get there.
I'm hoping that I am able to get sleep the night before this wedding. I'm also hoping that this will get better after everything is said and done. Although the driving thought that will keep me up then will be... "you need to send out thank yous NOW."
Anybody feel me?