Monday, June 9, 2008

Don't ever stay with a man who says he just has a friend

One year ago,
We took a vow.
To spend today like this,
I wanted not how.

"She's just a friend", you say.
"It's not what you think".
To question my intelligence,
Well, you're just a dink.

"They can get through it..."
"...if not then she's dumb."
Well, Critics, this is something
I can't overcome.

You wanted to work
On communication and interaction,
But guess what?
You can't work on you marriage
When you have a distraction.

I love you,
But I love me more.
You effed up,
So I walked out the door.

I thought we would grow old,
Like, into our 80's.
But you decided
To drive off in a Mercedes.

That was just an impromptu poem I decided to write. That's right... Today is my one year anniversary and how am I spending it? Filling out dissolution of marriage papers. And going to the funeral home. The two events are not connected.

I am a statistic. I am on the huge percentages of Americans that gets divorced in the first year of marriage. But as a friend of ~j's told me last night, "I'd rather be that statistic than the statistic of the ones that have no strength or mind of their own and stay with the guy knowing he's doing what he is doing and knowing they're unhappy for the rest of their lives."

There have been good days and there have been bad. But the good days totally outweigh the bad. But I also know that as time goes on, I know it will only get better and the bad days will get less and less. But I also know that the tears that come on those bad days are nothing compared to the tears that would fall if I had stayed.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive, and to those of you that don't get it, you can suck it.

ps: If you didn't get the last stanza of the poem... said car also shares a name with said "friend"


La Yen said...

Mercedes? Really? That makes it even grosser. You are WAY better than a Mercedes.

And I am proud of you and you deserve to be happy and be treated the way you know is right. And you know how to get to that point. So get to getting.

I love you.

La Yen said...

Ps I like the way you incorporated "Dink" into a poem.

tia frijoles said...

Most people say, "Is she a stripper?" when I tell them her name.

tia frijoles said...

And I love you too.

Melissa said...

Hugs! Hope you are doing well.
Personally, I'm so glad you love you more than that! I do too.